I fear that this post may lead you, my reader, to believe that I spend time looking at sleb gossip sites.  I really, really don’t.  But I do trawl Google for stories and snippets relating to some of the things this blog’s concerned with.  In this case, the search came up with an item on the website for something called ‘eleven: the celebrity channel’ (*barf*) about Ashley Cole’s new girlfriend.

Apparently, she’s a ‘kooky ex-lapdancer’, and she’s said:

“I’m part white witch – fond of potions and making my mates’ dreams come true.”

Eech.  Careful not to choke on all that fluff.

But did you notice that bit at the beginning?  She’s “part” white witch?  What the hell does that mean?  “White witch” is a term usually used by someone who isn’t quite sure whether they want to be a witch or not.  They like the idea of being all mystical and cool, but… witches are all evil and nasty and cackly, aren’t they?  So just to make sure everyone knows what a bang-on,. decent, cuddly person they are, they tack on ‘white’, so there’ll be no confusion.

Most modern witches will point out that witchcraft and magic aren’t ‘white’ or ‘black’.  It all depends on how it’s used.  Now, you could say that someone calling themselves a ‘white witch’ is simply saying that they are a good-hearted person who will only ever use magic for good.  The problem there is that no-one ever believes themselves to be evil.  Whether you’re good or evil is something you won’t be able to see.  Only other people can determine that.

And every mage should know that effecting any change in the natural order will bring positive and negative effects.  Say your mate wants a new job, and you (assuming you believe in spells and the like) cast a spell to see that she gets it.  Assuming she wouldn’t have got it without the spell, you’ve essentially denied that job to someone else, who may have needed it to look after their starving family.  How ‘good’, how ‘white’, is your action then?

But what troubles me most is the idea of being “part white witch”.  Which bit is the ‘part’ part of?  Is this woman ‘part witch’, in which case, how on Earth does that work?  It’d be like being ‘part doctor’, or ‘part musician’.  Or, alternatively, is she a witch who’s ‘part white’ – in which case does she cast evil spells as well?  In which case, why stipulate ‘white’ at all?

Or did she possibly just pick a few words she thought would sound cool and chuck them at a greasy sleb mag?

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